My husband, Santhosh completes me. I may sound like a typical wife bragging about her husband, but he genuinely is very caring, supportive and loves me a lot. From daily chores to taking care of kids to handling my mood swings, he does his best to help and keep me happy. For a working woman, with kids, that means a lot.
Taking a break from work was not as rosy as I expected
It is common for wives, especially in our patriarchal society, to give up careers and take care of kids & family as it is tough to balance personal and professional lives. Fortunately, not in my case and I have an experience to share.
After coming to US, I took a break from work but soon realized how hard it was. Hearing my past rants about hectic work schedule, my husband was puzzled as to why I wasn’t relaxed with my time off, and so was I. Although I enjoyed going out on weekends, I felt a strong desire to get back to work, but it was tough to find any local jobs for my skillset. I tried to keep my mind engaged with hobbies like cooking, arts, crafts and so on but soon realized people are wired differently.
I wanted to give up, but my husband stepped up
I got a good job offer but needed to work from a different state, far away, in a different timezone. If I accepted the offer, that meant leaving my husband and toddler child, Ishan, who hadn’t stayed away from me for a single day until then. ‘It was tough’ is an understatement. Our relationship was mostly long distance during college times, and the thought of parting again, especially after so many years of marriage and having a child bewildered me. I had a lot on my mind and wanted to give up but Santhosh assured to support my decision, no matter what. I can never forget the amount of time and energy he spent to raise our child all alone, working in parallel, just to support my decision. I can write another story about all the hurdles faced. He didn’t have to, but he did, for almost two years.
No judgement
When I look back at all this, I don’t even know if I’m that passionate or would do the same thing now. But the fact that he didn’t judge and encouraged me, despite hardships, speaks volumes about how selfless he was and still is. Santhosh helps me with all the daily chores and is my only rescue in handling our naughty and noisy kids, Ishan and Avyan. Whether it’s Ishan’s Monster trucks or Avyan’s Dinosaurs, he makes sure not to miss any shows or games with them. I love how he waits for me at the dining table even if he is hungry, or our binge watching TV shows when the kids are asleep. And his silly jokes that crack me up.
Actions speak louder than words
While I’m emotional and expressive, he is comparatively less demonstrative. We have our own fights and misunderstandings just like any other couple but in the end, actions speak louder than words. A doting husband and a loving father -Santhosh, as his name, is my happiness and I feel incomplete without him.
Some great tips :
Santhosh was not always like this. Experience and chance trials and errors helped me understand what it takes to get his support.
- Its always best to talk out things straight – no shortcuts or hints work.
- Once in a while, delegate tasks to them and step away. Often times, people don’t realize how hard a job is until they experience it themselves
- It is not that men don’t want to help/support. Most of the times, they just don’t know how, until you ask for it and explain it to them. Yes, boys are weird.
Her personal examples for the tips can be found on the instagram page @shecanbemoreblog
About the author
Jeevani is a friend by chance. I wouldn’t have met her if our husbands hadn’t shared rooms in US for a brief period when I was away in India. She is an amazing cook, and a deep learner. She is currently obsessed with learning how the stock markets work and I find my WhatsApp group flooded with her messages, recommendations, charts, and news. What is amazing about her is her willingness to learn against all odds. The unpredictability of stock market doesn’t dim her passion and only increases her thirst to understand it more. If you need a personal advisor with regards to stock market investments, reach out to her 😉
I wrote about this story of theirs in my personal blog in 2016. Do check it out if you want to know how it was like for Santhosh to raise a kid alone.
https://3cheers-to-life.blogspot.com/2016/05/the-guy-who-is-different.html