Management consulting is thrilling; however, it can push one’s endurance limits – physically, mentally and emotionally.
My global cohort of 18 started our journey in 2013; bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to dazzle CXOs with our brilliant ideas. As time progressed, we said our farewells, as one by one everyone, except two of us, left the firm. When I looked around, I saw a pattern emerge. The ones who continue to push through have a very strong support system at home, in most cases, a rockstar partner.
Her rocksolid support system
My partner has been through all major inflection points of my life, sometimes as an active participant and others as a silent observer. After spending hours reflecting on how he supports my aspirations, I finally concluded he does it by being himself.
He plays the role of a true partner – not the half that makes us whole, rather, someone who knows when he needs to be the whole for both of us. For instance, last summer, I decided to take a secondment for 3 months and moved to a completely different country on very short notice. It was an important career move for me and we knew it was an opportunity I had to take up. We had elderly parents (his and mine) staying with us at the time, who let’s face it, can act as kids on multiple occasions. He took care of them while he worked 80-hour work weeks, traveled Monday to Thursday every single week and went through a grueling exec-MBA program. I know it wasn’t easy and he did it for us.
An unconventional couple
We are an unconventional couple – had a long-distance relationship for 7 years and since then have continued to see each other only on weekends because of our work-related travel. While this setup has it perks, aka appreciation of our time together, it can get very lonely and overwhelming at times. He has never once complained or acted entitled. I know this lifestyle is not easy and he continues to power through with a lot of positivity for us.
I am a very independent woman who is vocal and has strong opinions. I am ambitious and have no plans of slowing down. It takes a secure man to not be threatened by such a partner. This, I know is easy for him, because he doesn’t believe there is a place for ego in our partnership.
Couple of ground rules that work for us:
1. No gender-defined roles: Whether it’s big picture decisions or day-to-day tasks, there is no discrimination. Home chores are everyone’s responsibility in the household. I do not get overtly grateful every time my partner does the dishes, cooks a meal or cleans the house. On the same token, we understand and are equally empathetic towards each other’s professional priorities.
2. Open dialogue: we discuss everything objectively – the good, bad and ugly. It’s unfair to hope and expect actions from your partner if you don’t speak up and have transparent communication.
About the author :
Arshita is a highly energetic, down-to-earth woman, a trail-blazer, deeply invested in empowering women. She is my ex-manager’s wife and now a dear friend. She is unlike anybody I have known personally – a super confident, fearless, breathtaking personality who is constantly treading new waters and there is no stopping in her dictionary!